Tiptoes and Pigsfeet

For those of you that doubted the veracity of my assessment as to the size of Harry's feet I give you Exhibit A:

Yes, I am also aware that his calves are larger than her thighs.  Meaty feet indeed.

Such a Pusher

Yesterday morning began with a typical Ellie/Mommy dispute.  I informed her we were turning off the tv to go downstairs and get breakfast before the nanny got there.  The exchange went something like this:

Ellie:  Ummm, no, I just want to stay in your bed and watch Super Why.
Me:  Too bad.  Let's go.
Ellie:  Super Why!
Me:  (Turning off tv) out of my bed, now.  Let's go.
Ellie: (Grudgingly getting out of the bed, in her sassiest voice possible) Daddy's right, you are fun pushing.
Me:  Fun pushing?  What is that?
Ellie: You push the fun away.
Me:  (Remembering last night's conversation) Oooooh, you mean fun poison?
Ellie: Yeah, that, you poison all the fun.

She ain't seen nothing yet.

Meaty Feet? More Like Side of Beef with a Slab of Bacon Feet.

So, yesterday we made our biannual trip to Coggins, the local shoe store.  Ellie's fitting and selecting went well.  Size 10.5, foot on the narrow side, plenty of choices in her size.  For the record, hot pink clogs are the absolute must have this season.  Harry's appointment with the "sizer" was an entirely different matter.

First, his foot has grown a full size since May...in length.  He is now a 5.5/6, not all that unusual for his age.  Here's where the problem comes in.  Our helper checks Harry's foot size with the stick and then says "uh...I think I need the other one.  We might have a width issue."  Sure enough, when he gets the metal device with the little slide on the side, Harry's foot fell about an inch west of EEE.  Thinking maybe I didn't know how to read it I asked the guy what it meant.  He says "lady, this kid's at least a quadruple E, maybe a quintuple, never seen anything like it.  He's going to need to special order."  Only shoes in the store that fit him were extra wide New Balance.  The adorable navy blue Keds with the rubber toe I had picked out?  He'd need a 7.5 to fit him in the width.  Yeah, looked like flippers, because I tried it. 

So, you might ask, just what does a special order, extra wide, saddle oxford in a child's size 6.0 cost you?  You do not want to know.  Even I was shocked.  I actually contemplated sending him to church in New Balance, but...no, I'm lying, I did not contemplate sending him to church in New Balance.  So I look at Harry and say "dude, you need to get a job...maybe as a plus sized baby model," to which he responded "Max...EIEIEI...NO, NO, ma ma."  You have to admit, he does have a way with words.