Language!

So...I knew it was coming.  While I try to watch my mouth, let's face it, I swear like a sailor.  I guess this exchange should not have shocked me:

E:  Mom, what's bullshit mean?

Me: (don't freak out, don't freak out, crap, did I say that, crap) Where did you hear that? 

E:  I just heard it, on the book you're listening to.

Me: (in my head) Dammit, this is supposed to be a young adult book, and how did I not even HEAR the word? (out loud) It's not a very nice thing to say.

E:  Yes, but what does it mean?

Me:  It means you think someone is lying, or exaggerating the truth.

E:  Well, then why wouldn't he just say "I think you're lying" instead of using a bad word?  Why would you use a bad word when a not bad word would work just as well.  I mean, wouldn't the other guy know what he meant if he used a regular word and not a bad word.  I just don't understand why anyone would use a bad word if a not bad word means the same thing.

Me:  Crap.

Here's what Aunt Mamie thought:

See, that's why you use a bad word.  It's much more descriptive.

Mario Needs to Provide a Retainer

Got a visitor in my office this morning.  He's been conversing with Mario and Luigi most of the morning while I work on some jury charges. 

However, he has an opinion on my work.  I say into the dictaphone "ladies and gentleman of the jury I charge you that a person commits the tort of tortious misconduct when...", and I hear "tortious misconduct, dat's right, tortious misconduct."

Alright Mario, that will be $325.