Leggings Aren't Pants

Come on girls.  You know it.  I know it.  We ALL know it.  Stop pretending that you don't know it.  Leggings.  Are.  Not.  Pants.  I'm not talking about those stretchy running pants that sort of look like leggings but are made of some hybrid of Kevlar and Spandex.  Nor am I referring to Jeggings (although I could do a whole other post on that deal).  The item of clothing, apparel, accessory I'm targeting here are good old fashioned, no doubts about them, leggings. 

Here's what you can wear leggings with:  dresses, skirts, tunics that actually cover your ass.  Here's what you can't wear leggings with:  ANYTHING ELSE! 

Ask yourself this question:  "Self, would I wear tights with this top that I'm calling a tunic even though it hits me right around my hip bone?"  If the answer is "no you silly slut, you'd look like a slut."  Then DON'T DO IT. 

See, legging are tights with the feet cut out.  Yes, I know they may seem different.  Sometimes, they can even appear a little bit thicker, but, trust me, the minute the sun, flourescent lighting, incandescent lighting, moon beams hit your ass you can see through them the same way you see through tights.  No one else needs to know that you are down to your "day before I do the laundry panties", and if you wear leggings as if they were something they are not (pants) then that's what you will be telling the rest of the world.

Also they accentuate everything that is imperfect about your ass area.  This is true for everyone.  Not just us fluffy ladies.  If you're not perfectly svelte, you just showed your entire office that area of your body you've been willing yourself to ignore in the mirror for the past five years.  If you are perfectly svelte, well, let's just say there are parts of a skinny girl no one wants to see either.  Not to mention, any questions as to your virtue are answered right there with your willingness to walk around without pants on.

Before you try to argue "ummm, I looked in the mirror and everything looked fine," the mirror in your room cannot be trusted.  (A) The light in your room is not the same as the light outside your room (B) You just got out of bed, so you're not communicating appropriately with your mirror anyway, and (C) We know you didn't really look at your backside, you just looked at your front, that is just a lack of preparation, people.

Here's a simple test:  Put on your ensemble.  Turn around.  Bend over at the waist. Take a glance at your fanny. Do you see anything you wouldn't want to see with tights on?  Yes?  Put on some pants!